Story: "Josh there is someone at the door for you." my mom yelled. Ben was standing at the door waiting as I approached. "All the neighbors are going to the skate park, aren't you coming?" I thought back to when I had asked my mom earlier, "Once you finish your homework you can go, we don't want a repeat of what happened last time do we?" I looked at Ben with a disappointed look, "Not until I finish all of my homework", Ben looked defeated, then suddenly he smiled. "I have a plan, only do your math homework, then when your mother asks if you completed all your homework you can tell her yes because you have finished all your "math" homework. Ben's idea would surely work. So I agreed and told him that I would meet him at the skate park soon. I ran to my room and completed the math homework almost effortlessly, it had always been my favorite subject. Then I went down stairs to tell my mother. "I have finished my homework mother" I said nervously. My mother had always trusted my honesty. "You finished ALL of your homework?" she replied skeptical, "Yes I have finish all of my homework," "All of my math homework" I mumbled under my breath. Pleased with my obedience my mom dismissed me to go to the skate park. When I arrived everyone was so happy to see me and we all spent hours skating on our bikes, skateboards, and scooters. When it was finally time to go home I was drained. I walked in the door and straight to my room. My mom was sitting on my bed waiting for me. I knew I had been caught. My mother was holding my homework folder in her hands. "You lied." She said calmly. "I didn't technically lie, I did complete all of my math homework, you didn't specify which homework." I was grounded for two weeks after that day, no more skate park, no more video games, and oh so much homework. If only I told the truth.
Authors Note: I used story 154: Drona hears word of Ashwatthama's death as a source of inspiration for my story. In story 154 the Pandevas devise a plan to trick Drona into giving up during the war. This plan was to tell him that his son, Ashwatthama, had died. To keep their plan truthful, they named an elephant after Ashwatthama and killed it. I used this concept with Josh and his mother, by making the homework the half truthful news. I kept the plot relatively the same, however I did not make the goal of Josh's plan the murder of his mother like in the original story.
Bibliography: Laura Gibbs, Tiny Tales from the Mahabharata
Hi Brooklynn!
ReplyDeleteI loved your twist on this story. I found it to be super cute, yet super creative! I think it is very important that you included your author's note, because without it I would've been confused because I did not read that story. I also loved the dialogue, it made me feel a stronger connection to the characters, so great job!
Hey Brooklynn!
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job retelling the story in a new way. Being able to take the original and turn it into a story of a kid skipping out on his homework to go skating is pretty creative. You did a great job with the dialogue. It’s hard to pull of well, but I think you got it. I look forward to reading other retellings you write later on.
Hey Brooklynn! I really enjoyed your story and how it connected to the story in the Mahabharata. I like how you used a first-person perspective with the author being the main character, as it made the story feel a lot more personal and involved. Both your story and the Mahabharata used mumbling to trick a character and “lie” while not really lying. Great story!
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